


Putting the Ham in Haman

by tigerbright



Category: White Collar
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 2, Fluff, Gen, Jewish Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 15:29:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/688526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerbright/pseuds/tigerbright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mozzie has a problem.  Neal is the solution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Putting the Ham in Haman

**Author's Note:**

  * For [via_ostiense](https://archiveofourown.org/users/via_ostiense/gifts).



> Post-reveal note:  
> The photo of Sarah Jessica Parker and Willie Garson was found with help from Google.
> 
> The other photo is from my Flickr (gingicat) and is of a frozen puddle in the corner of an NYC playground.

[](http://www.flickr.com/photos/gingicat/8328578386/)

"I find myself in a bit of a quandary."

"You're always having quandaries, Moz. This one just happens to be in the corner of a playground." Neal tossed stones into a frozen puddle.

"I'm serious, Neal. My thespian skills have been called upon, and I am of two minds as to whether to take the role."

"Stage fright?"

"Stage fright can be overcome with an appropriate dosage of good schnapps, appropriate being the operative word here. But no, I have more overwhelming reasons to take the role… or not." Moz swept an arm around, encompassing playground, school, nearby streets, and a few apartment buildings. "To be Haman or not to be Haman, that is the question."

"Haman?"

"Book of Esther, Jewish holiday, one of the few times a year I give you a gift without strings…"

"Right, right, evil vizier, his name gets blotted out by booing, yadayada. So you're going to be in a play?"

Mozzie cast hands to the roiling heavens. "No mere play, Neal. I dare say that this is the ancestor of the British panto, a sublime mixing of the ridiculous into a heroic story. A classic retelling of an ancient tale, complete with wild costumes and modern cultural references, a--"

"Moz."

"Right. So, classic story, fear of screwing it up, possible reveal of my sillier side to the suits. I haven't even mentioned it to Mrs. Suit."

"You mentioned schnapps?"

"Part of the holiday does involve inebriation to the point of being unable to tell Mordechai from Haman."

"Or Mozzie from the guy who plays Stanford Blatch."

"Please. I get mistaken for that bozo enough as it is."

"That's ideal, isn't it?" Neal eyed Mozzie speculatively. "You did mention wild costumes and modern cultural references."

"Only if you're willing to put on high heels, a dress in extremely bad taste, and a blonde wig, Carrie."

Neal offered an arm. "Let's go, Stan. What's Haman's wife's name, anyway?"

"Zeresh. And she's not to be messed with, so you'd better give off that vibe."


End file.
